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Sunshine

7 Oct

I listened to the pounding on the metal roof of my car.

Everything outside was drenched with the early morning rain.

And as it fell I was soaking my swollen abdomen with tears.

Tears of anxiousness. Tears of joy. Tears in fear of what the next few weeks would bring.

Would my little girl arrive safely? Would I be strong enough to labor at home, naturally, like I planned? Would my family arrive in time to witness the miracle of birth? Would I be a good Mama to this precious gift?

When the thumping of the droplets seemed to lessen, I ran, well, waddled, for the back door of our large green two story.

I dried my face and tried to tuck the fears and anxiousness away, after all, she wasn’t due for almost two weeks. I prepared the ingredients and placed dinner in the crockpot.

Before continuing with other housework, I sat down on the couch to quickly check my email.

Then it came. First a trickle.

Standing up, it flooded the hardwood beneath me.

Water.

My water had broken.

My baby girl was ready.

I shook with excited and fumbled for my cell phone.

“Babe…I think my water broke.”

“I’ll be right there.” Thankfully our church is only two blocks away.

I called my Mama and quickly typed a text message to my sister and close friends.

He came in the back door. His wet shoes squeaking across the kitchen floor, he found me standing in the same position I had called him from a few minutes earlier.

We looked at each other, knowing our lives were about to change forever.

The midwife came. 2 centimeters and she could feel sweet Londyn’s head.

I showered through increasing contractions, and Daniel prepared our room.

The midwife returned. 4 centimeters. Active labor was in progress. This baby was in a hurry.

I didn’t want him to leave my side. He reminded me to breathe like we had practiced in our classes. He massaged my back as the pain intensified.

Moving from the bathroom to our bed and back again. I fought for the strength to do this. The pressure of our daughter’s head was painful and the pain brought my breakfast back up again.

“I don’t think I can do this,” I groaned while Daniel changed the sheets he had just put on the bed not even an hour before.

“Yes, you can. You’re doing great, Love,” he encouraged.

I questioned how far away my parents and sister were.

They were stuck in traffic, but only twenty minutes away.

I stretched across the bed resting on the comfort on my own pillow between contractions.

My Mama and sister entered our room and I felt a wave of relief. They made it.

I asked to see my Daddy. He peeked his head into the room, “Hey, punkin.”

Our conversation was cut short by another contraction. The pressure and my desire to push was incredible.

Daniel kept telling me not to push yet. The midwife echoed his words.

My Mama rubbed my back. She offered her hand, but I didn’t take it. I wanted my hands free.

The midwife checked again. 8 centimeters. After only 3 hours of active labor.

He helped me off the bed and supported my weight as my legs felt weak and heavy. Back in the bathroom, I continued.

“You can push, now.” I received the permission my body was aching for.

I pushed twice before my midwife ushered me quickly back to bed.

On my hands and knees, she admonished me to push through the next wave of contractions.

I hesitated.

“Push your baby out.” she requested again.

I moved to my side. The burning was unlike anything I had ever felt. Moaning, I bore down and heeded her request.

Before I knew it, my midwife lifted our baby to my chest.

I remember saying, “Hi Baby. Hi Beautiful. Hi Sweetheart.” over and over again.

She was perfect.

She was sunshine though the skies were gray outside our bedroom window.

Arriving nine days before we expected her and making her entrance in just under four hours of labor.
Londyn Grace. Our Sunshine.
Lord, we are so grateful for the precious gift of our girl. 
Thank You doesn't do it justice. We pray that You'll 
enable us to raise her to love and live for You!

This Miracle

28 Jun

Dishes are done. Laundry is folded. My Bible lay open on my lap.

As I read, I feel the strange yet satisfying thump within.

“And the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing…”

Romans 15:13

She kicks.

Reminding me to hope. To trust.

My heart is anxious. I note her every movement. I wait when she is still. Sleep is filled with dreams of what she will be like, of whether or not she will be healthy, and of whether or not I will be what she needs. At each appointment, the seconds it takes the midwife to find her heartbeat seem like hours

I must surrender something that isn’t mine in the first place.

Her life belongs to Him, and I must trust His goodness. He will sustain her as he has for the last six months.

With my swelling abdomen growing a little more each day, our daughter is growing too along with my faith in the One who blessed us with her.

“Before I formed thee in the belly, I knew thee.”

Jeremiah 1:5

 He already has big plans for her little life which include teaching her Mama a little more about what it means to truly rely upon Him each and every moment.

I am so grateful for the precious gift of our girl and for the gracious God whom I am so privileged to call Father who has been so faithful thus far.

As He knits her together, I am learning to trust unlike ever before. I am so in awe of my Faithful Creator tonight. He’s big enough to keep our world spinning on its axis and yet is keeping this little one within me.

Her tiny feet are strong enough to make her kicks visible.

I watch my belly move.

Amazed at this miracle and thrilled to be a part of it.

Our Little Miracle

2 Apr

Twelve weeks into my pregnancy, I am still in awe of the fact that I have a little life growing within me. We were recently privileged with the opportunity to see our little miracle through an ultrasound! What an amazing blessing! Follow the link below for a peek at our precious babe!

http://newlywedsinnewjersey.blogspot.com/2012/03/introducing.html

Thank You, Lord, for this gift! You are indeed the giver of Life and it is even clearer today that everyone is “fearfully and wonderfully made!” That You knit life together within the womb! Thank You! Thank You! Thank You!

Weekly Baby Posts

5 Mar

My first of many weekly pregnancy posts is up on our family blog! Be sure to check it out over at Newlyweds in New Jersey and visit weekly for updates!

Change

16 Feb

My life was so predictable for so long. 

Teach. Tutor. Sleep. Teach. Tutor. Church. Sleep. Teach. Tutor. Church.

And so the cycle went for the last five years. 

Now it seems that change is the new normal.

In less than two months time, 

my name changed.

my address changed.

my job changed.

my schedule changed.

and now more changes are coming.

This little one is already making it’s presence known,

changing my sleeping pattern thus making this once energetic housewife a little slower with her housework.

changing my thinking, there is so much to think about, nursery colors, names, etc., etc.

changing my body, though I’m definitely more than okay with a growing belly knowing that it means a growing baby!

changing everything about life up to this point and we’re only six weeks into the next eighteen years! 🙂

I am so grateful for the changes and excitement that the last two months have brought with them, I have no doubt that I’m right where He’d have me to be, loving every minute of marriage, ministry, and now motherhood,

but I’m also so very thankful for one thing that is forever unchanging,

God’s words in Malachi remind me of His steadfastness, “For I am the LORD, I change not;…” (3:6)

There’s great comfort in that. 

No matter what comes, regardless of what changes are ahead, He’ll be the same faithful God He’s always been. 

“Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and to day, and for ever.”

Hebrews 13:8

Psalm 127:3

6 Feb

Sarah laughed. She thought for sure she was too old.

Hannah prayed. She was so thankful for the gift she had been given. 

Elisabeth waited. She knew God would give her the desire of her heart.

Mary rejoiced. She was thrilled even though it didn’t make sense.

I think I’ve reacted in all of these ways over the last few days. 

Laughter, not because I’m too old, but because we’ve only been married for a month and a half.

Prayer, because I already love this little one growing inside of me and long for growth and health.

Waiting, because family is three hours away and we wanted to share our news in person.

Rejoicing, because God is good and He has blessed me with the precious privilege of carrying life within.

Yes, sweet friends, our house is expanding by two very tiny feet!

Daniel and I are so thrilled to have been entrusted with this responsibility and it has been such a joy to see the reactions on the faces of our family and friends. Our little one is already loved like crazy! 

The Lord knew the desire of my heart and is preparing a very special 25th birthday present for me as our baby will arrive in early October! 

Please pray that baby will grow,grow, grow, and that Mama will navigate this first pregnancy with joy and good health! (Daddy could use your prayers, too! 🙂 )

“Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord and the fruit of the womb is his reward.”

Psalm 127:3