10 Oct

The Lord has worked in my heart, helping me to adjust and to slowly find my place. We are building relationships with our church family and are so thankful for what He has accomplished over the past twenty two months. I really have been getting adjusted to the idea of life three and half hours from the only life I’d ever known before moving to New Jersey on that final day of 2012. This is the only home we’ve ever known as a couple. It’s here that we unpacked our wedding presents, where I stood amazed at two pink lines that changed our lives forever, and where we welcomed our sweet baby girl last year. It’s here that I’ve learned to cook, to keep house, to serve Him in the daily tasks that often go unseen by anyone yet must be done. Having LG has helped me to feel more at home, she keeps me busy and my mind usually doesn’t have much time to dwell on being far from family.

And while Caldwell is our home, the place where God has called us to serve, I find myself homesick, tonight.

Longing for dinner with my parents in their dining room, for a chat with my Granny or for a shopping trip to Harford Mall with my Sissy. I’m missing my Mom Mom and my Mamal. I want to take my little cousin to Chic Fil A and then to Bouncy Place like we always did before she gets too big to enjoy it. I am craving the things that life used to be.

I am homesick.

It usually hits the hardest after I’ve been home recently or after I’ve spent a good amount of time with family, which have both happened in the last few weeks.

It came silently, but strong. The emptiness in the pit of my stomach. The sadness as I think of the things, the time, I’m missing with ones so precious to me.

While my heart aches for home, the Lord reminds me that it is neither in Maryland or New Jersey.

Home is Him. Home is Heaven.

My heart will never be truly satisfied until I trade my cross for a crown, but in the meantime my Savior longs to be my Sustainer.

He wants to hold me when I’m lonely. He wants to dry my tears when I cry.

I may be a hundred and fifty miles from the embrace of my Daddy, but nothing separates me from the comfort of my Heavenly Father’s arms.

“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Romans 8:38-39

What comfort there is in knowing He is near when everything else seems so far away.


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