Questions

9 Jun

“Push me higher, please.”

“Can I swing just one more minute?”

“But I want to play with it now.”

“Can I?”

“I just want to do this first and then we can. Okay?”

“But why not?

Always wanting more. Never wanting to wait. And forever asking “Why?” when she must. This sounds a lot like the sweet four and half year old that’s growing up way too fast.

As I listened to her endless questions tonight, I began to think that I’d heard all of these questions somewhere before.

“Can I just have it now, Lord?’

“But Father I don’t like waiting and as You know I’m not very good at it.”

“Do I have to?”

“Why?”

“I know, but can I please just do this first and then I’ll…”

“Can You swing me higher, take me somewhere greater, give me more of this and perhaps maybe a little less of that?”

I found myself relating once again to my favorite little cousin who is growing up a little more each day.

Questions and lots of them.

Answers which are sometimes not the ones she wants to hear.

More often than not she responds in obedience, but sometimes she just can’t seem to understand why she can’t have more or stay longer or why she must wait all day for something special.

The latter sounds a lot like me.

When my Lord answers in a way I wasn’t expecting with something like “Not right now, child.” or “It’s just not the best thing for you in this season.” I question. I think I know what’s best and at times throw the equivalent of a spiritual temper tantrum.

 ”Lord, I don’t understand. All I asked for was this and I just don’t see why I need to wait. Why do I always have to wait?”

My Loving and very Patient Lord always replies sweetly yet firmly. Just as I don’t respond to my little cousin with a straight “No.” without an explanation, He always offers His insight and wisdom that I might “grow up into Him in all things.” (Eph. 4:15) He doesn’t leave me wondering, but rather desires that I grow “in all wisdom and spiritual understanding.” (Col. 1:9)

He gently whispers, “…My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:8-9)

“Child, “Count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;  Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience. But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing.” (James 1:2-4)

 “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you,..thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

 ”And not only so, but we glory in tribulations also: knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.” (Romans 5:3-5)

“And most of all, it’s because I love you, and I want the best for you. Do you trust me, Child?”

“Yes, Lord, I do. Every question I have I find answered in You. Thank you for loving me enough to withhold what I’m not ready for yet even when I think I am.”

I pray that I resemble this beautiful little girl. I want her teachable spirit, her trusting heart. I want to ever look to my Father knowing I can’t do it on my own.

“Can you help me, Sara?”

“I need you to come with me.”

“Can you play with me?”

Ever dependent. Constantly desiring companionship.

May this be the way I am with my Lord.

 Originally written last June, the little girl who was then a three and half year old toddler is now going on five and the girl who was struggling in the waiting is waiting no longer! It’s amazing what the Lord has done in my heart in the last year. I can say now that I am grateful for the waiting, that I am confident in the perfectness of the timing of our engagement and coming wedding day! I posted this again tonight, as a reminder to myself of where He’s brought me from and how faithful He’s been! I pray that if you are waiting for an answer, you will find Him faithful as well!
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