Growing Up…

30 Jan

Throwing tantrums,

But not the typical three-year old kind with lots of screaming, crying and arm flailing.

For me, it’s the kind that hide behind being slightly grouchy and fussing quietly when things don’t go my way.

The kind that only those who know me really well pick up on.

The kind that when looking back have made me miss out on so much blessing.

The kind that can be incredibly prevalent in my life because of bitterness that has no business being present in my heart. When my eyes get stuck focusing on what I don’t have, where I’m not and who I’m not, I throw these temper tantrums.

My loving Lord used a wonderful message I had the privilege of hearing this afternoon, (thanks for preaching His Word, my Love!), to challenge my heart about these spiritual tempter tantrums that have no place in the life of someone who is in the midst of a season she’s been longing to experience for what seems like forever!

I saw myself in this verse of Scripture,

  “And it came to pass, as the ark of the covenant of the LORD came to the city of David, that Michal the daughter of Saul looking out at a window…”

 1 Chronicles 15:29

Did you catch what was happening here?

The ark of the covenant is being returned to its rightful place in the way that God intended it to! The people are rejoicing, enjoying the blessing of His Presence upon them. Music, singing, excitement and anticipation! Joy fills every heart as they gather in the streets to watch the glorious procession.

Every heart except for one that is.

Michal. 

We find her inside pouting while everyone else is outside praising.

We find her bitterness keeping her from experiencing blessing.

When she should have been ecstatic, she was envious and she missed out on such a wonderful event.

I find myself where Michal was all too often.

Dwelling on why I’m still waiting, frustrated by what seems so unfair, by others who get to be where I want to be so badly, I let bitterness bar His blessing upon where He has so lovingly placed me today.

I pout when I should be praising. I’m envious when I should be ecstatic about what He’s doing in my life and in the lives of others! 

I’ve allowed my selfishness steal way too much! I am sick of these temper tantrums.

It’s time for me to get over it and “grow up into Him!” (Eph. 4:15)

He has brought me this far, given me so much, and though I can hardly wait for the next season to begin, I refuse to allow Satan to sabotage His joy in my heart today.

I have so much to prepare for, so much to accomplish and I can’t do it while I sit sulking!

God has done and continues to do great things in my life, exceeding abundantly above all I could ever have asked for, and it is way past time for me to be growing up so that I don’t miss another moment of the here and now.

I am so grateful for the examples He has given us in Scripture even when they’re examples of what not to do! 🙂

  “When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”

1 Corinthians 13:11

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