I found it!

18 Sep

I looked everywhere.

Searched high and low.

Frantically.

Still no luck.

Desperately.

I began to worry.

Like a game of  Hide and Go Seek, I looked and looked to no avail. Behind every door, under every piece of furniture, in every possible hiding place I could think of.

Still it remained hidden.

For the last year and a half, I’ve been a cheerleader for the blessing of finding joy in the journey, but this week I couldn’t find it.

No matter how hard I tried, how much effort I put into looking, it was nowhere to be found.

It’s been a tough week. Probably one of the toughest since the Lord changed my life five years ago.

The weather was gorgeous. My second week of school was going beautifully. Yet I still couldn’t find it.

Heaviness filled the place where joy has been for the last five years. Though once a familiar feeling, I had almost forgotten what it felt like. As the dreaded clouds of doubt and discouragement rolled in, I was reminded of how miserable I used to be before my loving Lord opened my eyes in the Summer of 2005.

I felt hopeless until He spoke.

He spoke through His Word each day this week as I determined to rise earlier than normal to spend time with Him. He spoke through a message on Thursday night as I sat in a Revival meeting.

He spoke reminding me of where true joy is found, showing me once again where I must seek it. It never left. It had been there all along, but the discouragement was clouding my view. Doubt was successfully draining me of the spiritual strength He’s given so graciously.

He spoke through Nehemiah 8:10 and Psalm 73:23.

   “…for the joy of the LORD is your strength.”

  “Nevertheless I am continually with thee: thou hast holden me by my right hand.”

Through precious black words upon crisp white pages, I hear His whisper,

“Child, I’m here and my joy is your strength. When you lose sight of joy, you lose the strength and power it takes to live this life how I intend for you to live it. Oh, Child, joy is where it’s always been, right here next to you, holding your hand, giving you victory over the discouragement that wears upon your soul.”

You see, joy is a Person. Joy is Jesus.

And tonight, after a week of much prayer and many tears, I have found joy once more.

Not in circumstances perfected, but in Christ’s presence.

Not in burdens removed, but in strength sufficient for their bearing.

Joy is Jesus, and He’s been here all along.

 “Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy;

at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”

Psalm 16:11 

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