I Needed the Long Way

15 Jul

I have been consumed by the thought of my last post over the past few days.

 I am rejoicing in changed plans! Amazed at how much He loves me, enough to work in such detailed ways to get me to where I am today. I guess it’s because this month marks 5 years since that change took place, but whatever the reason, it has been consuming my thinking and bringing such joy to my heart!

The doors that had to close. The doors that had to open. The things that had to happen in my life and in the lives of others that I might enjoy “the place of God” today! (Gen. 50:19)

And to think that at twenty-two, I have only just begun to see His faithfulness! I am so excited about what the coming years will hold!

I’m sure I sound like a broken record, but this is one of those days when I realize I don’t praise Him enough for all He’s done. 

I think of Psalm 40 verse 2:

 “He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.”

I know what it’s like to call a “horrible pit” home. Heart-broken. Wondering “Why me?”  To be stuck in the “miry clay” of my own plans. Unsure of where to go next.

The events of that July evening are still so vivid in my mind, I remember the tears, the ache in my heart. Mostly because I knew I had been trying to “go it alone,” make something happen that God’s blessing wasn’t upon and there after nearly a year found myself at the end of the Dead End road I’d been walking.

I think of Joseph, as he found himself, stripped of his beloved coat, alone and helpless in a pit much like mine. Though his own selfishness and sinfulness didn’t put him there as mine did, I’m sure he wondered how this place fit into the dream He was certain God had given him.

After I spent many weeks confessing sin and building for the first time a deep, solid, daily relationship with Jesus, I found myself questioning. Questioning how this fit into my dream, what I believed to be a God-given dream, of spending my life as a wife and mother.

I didn’t know that it would take five more years before I would be closer to the reality of that dream. But today, I couldn’t be more thankful that He took me His way and not mine.

I think of the Children of Israel and their journey to Canaan. “That God led them not through the way of the Philistines, although that was near..” (Ex. 13:17) but instead had them take the long way. A way that lasted forty years!

After all, they had just been released from slavery, didn’t they deserve a break? It would seem like it, but God had another plan. He knew that they had much to learn and that the wilderness would be the ideal setting for the many lessons He would teach them.

A quick trip on the route used by caravans wouldn’t provide the time or the conditions needed to break and change their hearts. They needed to see Him prove faithful at the edge of the Red Sea They needed the wilderness and His constant provision. They needed the manna and the quail though they tired of it quickly. They needed the pillar of cloud by day and fire by night. They needed the ten commandments and Mt. Sinai wasn’t on the short route.

Just as I have needed the last 5 years and will need the next 5 and the next. I needed the long way so that I could look back and see a faithful and awesome God’s abundant love and provision for me.

There were many days when it wasn’t (and still isn’t) the fun way. Days when I didn’t think I could stand waiting any longer to see around the bend. Waiting is never fun, but waiting is worth it.

I needed the long way so could know what it’s like to stand “upon a Rock” with my goings established!

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