I’m Here…

22 Nov

It’s been more than a few days since I’ve posted, but I return tonight with another lesson learned to blog about. The Lord has been teaching me some tough lessons about life and about myself this week and they’ve come accompanied by many tears! But, I’m thankful that He’s still willing to teach me even though I don’t always respond like I should initially.

I learned this week that I take life, my relationship with my Lord, and my MANY blessings for granted. I’ve learned that I’ve become one that just expects they will always be, (Yes, technically the Lord will always be there, but I’ll explain more in the next paragraph!) and have begun to live life without much thought about how precious they really are.

The most important part of this lesson is definitely what He has shown me about my walk with Him. Since my ‘wake-up-call’ 4 1/2 years ago, my relationship with Him has been my TOP priority, but recently I’ve really struggled to keep my seeking of Him ahead of my serving. (I’ve mentioned this on posts like MORE from 11/11) Though the countless opportunities to serve Him are wonderful blessings, I’m finding that I must be increasingly diligent in keeping Him first, even ahead of those events that are ministry related. I’m learning, notice I said learning, that I am weak and He is strong. Something so elementary though our human natures often convince us that we are capable in our own strength. I’m learning that I have MUCH to learn. I’m learning that I don’t have half of what I thought I had figured out. I’m learning that I am in DESPERATE need of my Loving Lord’s Presence and work in my life.

Secondly, He has been teaching me this week through a long hard look at life, that I take my precious family and what they mean to me, the precious relationship He has been so gracious to give, the places and areas of service He’s provided, for granted. I’ve gotten so comfortable that I’ve started to neglect to notice the wonder of it all.  A rejoicing heart has been replaced by a calloused and heavy one. I’ve missed the goal. I’ve let those that are most precious to me down. I’ve been failing to find joy in the journey which is the whole reason for this blog in the first place. I haven’t been able to post this week because I haven’t been loving my Lord like I should or finding sweet joy in the journey.

My point behind such a post is not to share the details of my life with you so you’ll feel sorry for me or to post a public pity party, but to be candid and honest with those of you who are so faithful to visit my blog on a daily basis. I don’t want to paint an always positive picture with my posts because trust me that would be far from reality. I want you to know that I am sinful and selfish (as if some of you don’t know that already! 😉 ) and have seasons in my life when the Lord has to chastise and correct my straying heart! I want to be able to help those of you who may struggle in similar ways. I want you to know my Loving Lord as One who loves us just as much when we have fallen as He does when we’re walking in His will.

I’ve allowed my study time to be hindered by circumstance and personal feelings this week, but in the times I did what I should always do and went to Scripture seeking strength and help, He used these two verses to begin teaching me the lessons I’ve already mentioned above:

  And in my prosperity I said, I shall never be moved.

LORD, by thy favour thou hast made my mountain to stand strong: thou didst hide thy face, and I was troubled.

Psalms 30:6-7

Over the last few weeks,  I’ve been living verse six (not verbally, but inwardly). I had gotten to the point where I felt like I finally had it all figured out. Everything was going so well. I had arrived where I’d always wanted to be. The Lord knew He must do something to bring me back to reality, to make me refocus on Him and the fact that if I have anything it’s because He has been good enough to bless me with it.

Unfortunately, (but thankfully), it took a mountain that stood strong. An obstacle in my way. An unexpected bump in the road to get my attention! At the end of this week, I realize it was by His favor, by His goodness, that He allowed it. It was tough, but tough enough to turn me again to my Savior. It was painful, but painful enough to turn me to my Ever-Present Healer for comfort.

It’s when He’s being silent that we recognize how much we’ve missed out on by failing to acknowledge Him before the trial comes. It’s when we can’t seem to find where He is, that we realize we’ve been failing to seek Him like we should be. Mountains have much to teach us, and because we can’t get around them, we are forced to stay still and glean valuable wisdom from the time of teaching! 

I’m grateful tonight that I am here. Here at the end of a rough week to share  just a few thoughts with you about a God who is good enough to get in our way, so to speak, when we’ve gotten out of His way, so that He can get us back on track. A few words on a God that is willing to put a mountain in our path so we’ll realize we need His strength to climb!

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